The Road to Abs: The Carb Breakup

breaking up with "Carbs" on iPhone

So, if you’ve become acquainted with The Banter Press, you’ll know very well my position on carbs and food in general. It’s a daily battle and quite literally a love hate relationship, given my distaste for diets and desire to give birth to my permanent food baby, all for the purpose of unveiling what is currently a mythical slab of abs.


I’ve been throwing my ab-defying body at the treadmill, engaging in body-crushing weight routines and exceeding my planking record, only to learn the repulsive, inconvenient truth – abs are made in the kitchen. Just quietly, it may have been a concoction of denial and ambition that lead me to believe I could acquire a six pack without considering my carb intake. I swear, the addiction is real. I have a theory that one day, scientists will prove the addictive nature of simple carbohydrates. I can already see the headlines – Carb epidemic – worse than tobacco. Well, you heard it here first.

Carbs and sugar form the vast majority of any finger-licking feast I’ve ever had the pleasure of devouring. So, reducing both is the equivalent of forcing a child to watch another child play with their favourite, most treasured toys. It’s just cruel, really. While we’re on the topic of torture, scrolling through my Facebook feed has become a soul crushing pastime since the majority of what I’ve subscribed to are recipes – the carb-crazy and sugar-satisfying kind. I just can’t bring myself to hide or remove my stash of food porn just yet.


After much investigation, I decided that it would be outrageous and unrealistic of me to pursue a strict low carb diet (up to 20 grams of carbs per day). I compromised with a low to moderate diet, allowing myself approximately 50 grams of carbs on weekdays and around 80-100 grams on the weekend. It’s not much once you start reading the labels of your beloved carb tainted foods. To put things into perspective, 1 boiled potato has around 20 grams of carbohydrates. Since this would be a major transition for my body, I refrained from making radical changes to my breakfast menu. I continued with a standard serving of muesli for breakfast and maintained a stricter diet for lunch, dinner and snacks. On weekends, I opt for 1/2 – 1 slice of toast (instead of the usual 2), 2 hard boiled eggs and a generous portion of my famous avocado salsa, which never fails to satisfy. After 5 months of 2-3 gym sessions a week and 2 months of actively crunching carb numbers, I’ve lost a total of 4 kilos and can see a dramatic change in my physique. 

If you’re after an easy-to-use calculator that recommends carb/fat and protein intake ratios based on gender, current weight and fitness goals, check this one out by Supplement Critique.


I started this journey accepting the fact that it would be a monumental struggle. Shockingly, it’s been less painful than predicted. I’ve trained my body to consume fewer carbs by replacing it with protein-rich foods – eggs are the new potato. I promise you that it’s entirely possible to change your overly-indulgent ways – I was sceptical initially. It’s all about educating yourself and remaining disciplined when temptation comes a knockin’. Once you start seeing results, you’ll experience a surge in motivation. These tasty tips and foodie-approved recipes will help you overcome the initial withdrawals and avoid an accidental binge. Once your body adapts to these new rules, your appetite will drop, allowing your body to transition into a fat burning machine (yay)! It’s a bizarre yet satisfying change. If you’re struggling to figure out what diet option is most suitable for you, this low carb diet guide will break it down. Cheers to our future six packs!


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